A little communication early in a real estate transaction can prevent a whole lot of stress later.
There's a quote I really like:
"It's remarkable how often the real problem is not what happened, but how it was communicated."
I've been thinking about that a lot lately.
There's another quote that fits right alongside it:
"Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments."
Think about those two statements for a minute.
When we expect someone to do something, but never clearly communicate that expectation, we're setting ourselves up for disappointment.
And when someone knows something important but doesn't share it, they're potentially creating a much bigger problem down the road.
In real estate, this happens more often than you might think.
Over the past several weeks, I've been involved in a few transactions that reminded me just how important communication is. Not necessarily because anything catastrophic happened, but because some very stressful situations could have been avoided—or at least made considerably easier—with a simple conversation earlier in the process.
Here are three real-world examples.
A Surprise Assessment Right Before Closing
In one recent transaction, a buyer learned about a substantial assessment involving the property's water system.
The problem?
They found out the day before closing.
Now, I don't know for certain whether the seller was aware of the assessment beforehand. It's entirely possible they weren't.
But from the buyer's perspective, that doesn't really matter in the moment.
They're preparing to make one of the largest purchases of their life, everything is supposed to be ready to go, and suddenly there's a potentially significant financial obligation that they weren't anticipating.
Naturally, questions start coming up.
How much is this going to cost? Who is responsible for paying it? Why wasn't this mentioned earlier? Is there anything else we don't know about?
And perhaps the biggest question of all:
What are we supposed to do now?
This is where the timing becomes the real problem.
An assessment discovered three or four weeks before closing gives everyone time to gather information, determine who is responsible, understand the financial impact, and negotiate a reasonable solution if necessary.
The exact same assessment discovered the day before closing creates urgency, uncertainty, and potentially distrust.
The underlying problem hasn't necessarily changed.
What changed is how much time everyone has to deal with it.
Sometimes a surprise like this creates more anxiety than the actual dollar amount justifies.
And that's unfortunate because the situation might have been relatively manageable if everyone had known about it sooner.
The Giant Storage Container in the Driveway
Here's another recent example.
A buyer was scheduled to close on a home at 8:30 in the morning.
They did their final walk-through the night before closing, expecting to find the property ready for the transfer.
Instead, there was a giant POD-style moving container sitting in the driveway, blocking access to the garage.
The container was supposed to be gone.
But it wasn't.
And there had been no communication about when it would be removed.
Think about the position that puts the buyer in.
They've arranged their financing, scheduled movers, taken time off work, and prepared to take ownership of their new home.
Now, less than 12 hours before closing, there's a large storage container occupying part of the property.
Is it being picked up tomorrow? Next week? Was pickup even scheduled?
What happens if it stays there after closing?
Will the buyer have to deal with it?
And how do they make sure the seller follows through once the transaction is complete?
Suddenly, something that could have been a minor logistical issue becomes a major source of anxiety.
Here's the part that frustrates me.
A simple phone call several days earlier could have completely changed the situation.
Imagine the seller had said:
"Our moving container is scheduled to be picked up, but there's a chance it won't be gone before closing. We're working on confirming the pickup and wanted to make sure everyone knew what was happening."
Would the buyer have loved hearing that?
Probably not.
But at least they would have known.
We could have discussed the situation, obtained written assurances, negotiated an appropriate arrangement if needed, or worked toward another solution before everyone was under the gun.
Instead, the buyers were left to discover the issue themselves, just hours before they were supposed to become the owners.
That creates a very different emotional response.
People tend to be much more understanding when they feel someone is being upfront with them.
When they feel blindsided, even relatively minor issues can become major problems.
When Financing Problems Aren't Discussed Until Two Weeks Into the Deal
Communication problems aren't limited to sellers.
In another transaction, a buyer made an offer on a property and went under contract.
Approximately 15 days later, their financing was rejected because of information that should have been identified as a potential issue much earlier.
This wasn't necessarily a problem that couldn't be solved.
But it was information that would have been helpful for the seller to know before accepting the offer—or at least at the earliest point when the concern became apparent.
Imagine being the seller.
You've accepted an offer, taken your property off the market or changed its marketing status, and started planning around the expected closing.
Two weeks go by.
Then you find out the buyer has a financing problem tied to circumstances that existed before the offer was made.
Your first reaction is probably going to be frustration.
Why are we just hearing about this now?
Why wasn't this discussed before the offer?
Would we have made the same decisions if we had known?
Again, the issue may be something everyone can work through.
But the lack of advance communication creates unnecessary tension.
Of course, buyers don't always know something will become a lending issue, and lenders can uncover problems that nobody anticipated.
But when a potential concern is known, identifying and addressing it early is usually far better than hoping it won't become a problem.
An uncomfortable conversation before an offer is accepted might save two weeks of uncertainty later.
The Problem Isn't Always the Problem
This brings me back to that quote:
"It's remarkable how often the real problem is not what happened, but how it was communicated."
There's a common theme running through all three of these situations.
In each case, there was an actual issue that needed to be addressed.
A water system assessment.
A moving container that hadn't been removed.
A financing problem.
But I would argue that in each situation, the lack of timely communication made the problem considerably worse.
Think about the difference between these two conversations:
"We have a problem, but we wanted to tell you right away so we have time to work through it."
And:
"We have a problem, and you need to figure out what to do about it before tomorrow morning."
Same problem.
Very different experience.
The first conversation builds confidence.
The second creates panic.
And in real estate, panic is rarely helpful.
When People Don't Know What's Happening, They Usually Assume the Worst
One thing I've learned over the years is that uncertainty can be more stressful than bad news.
When people don't have information, their imaginations start filling in the blanks.
If a seller isn't responding about an inspection request, the buyer starts wondering whether the seller is hiding something.
If a buyer's financing is taking longer than expected, the seller starts worrying that the deal is falling apart.
If a property isn't ready for the final walk-through, the buyer starts wondering what else hasn't been taken care of.
And when there's no communication, these concerns tend to grow.
It's human nature.
We imagine potential problems, often long before we know whether those problems actually exist.
A quick update can interrupt that entire process.
Sometimes all it takes is:
"We don't have the final answer yet, but here's what we know, here's what we're doing, and here's when we expect to have more information."
That doesn't magically solve the problem.
But it gives people something concrete to work with.
It replaces speculation with information.
And it demonstrates that someone is actively managing the situation.
A Difficult Conversation Today Can Prevent a Much Bigger One Tomorrow
I understand why people sometimes avoid communicating bad news.
Nobody enjoys having an uncomfortable conversation.
A seller might be worried that disclosing an issue will scare away a buyer.
A buyer might be afraid that mentioning a possible financing concern will weaken their offer.
Someone dealing with a moving company might genuinely believe everything will work out and there's no reason to alarm anyone.
Often, there's no bad intention.
People just hope the situation will resolve itself.
And sometimes it does.
But when it doesn't, the problem becomes much more difficult to manage.
Here's how I think about it:
If something has the potential to affect the transaction, the other side should generally know about it as soon as it's appropriate and practical to communicate it.
That doesn't mean sharing every insignificant detail or speculating about problems that don't exist.
It means identifying material concerns, communicating accurately, and giving everyone enough time to make informed decisions.
In some situations, an agent may need to confirm facts, protect confidential information, or consult with the client before communicating with the other side.
But avoiding the conversation entirely is rarely a productive strategy.
Good Communication Doesn't Mean Everything Goes Perfectly
One of the realities of real estate is that very few transactions are completely free of complications.
Inspections uncover defects.
Appraisals create questions.
Lenders request additional documents.
Title searches reveal unexpected issues.
Moving companies miss appointments.
Contractors get delayed.
Weather interferes with work.
There are a tremendous number of moving pieces involved in getting from an accepted offer to a successful closing.
And many of them are outside any one person's control.
The goal isn't to promise buyers and sellers that nothing unexpected will happen.
That's unrealistic.
The goal is to make sure that when something does happen, everyone is informed and there's a plan for dealing with it.
A good real estate transaction isn't necessarily one where nothing goes wrong.
It's one where problems are identified early, communicated clearly, and handled before they become bigger than they need to be.
Three Things That Make Real Estate Transactions Go More Smoothly
After dealing with these recent situations, there are three principles that stand out to me.
1. Say Something Early
If you know there's a potential issue, don't wait until the last possible moment.
It doesn't have to be a catastrophe to deserve a conversation.
A possible delay, an unexpected expense, or a concern involving financing may all be easier to address when everyone has time to think.
You don't necessarily need to have the entire solution figured out before communicating.
Sometimes identifying the issue is the first step toward finding the solution.
2. Don't Assume Everyone Has the Same Expectations
Remember that other quote?
"Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments."
A seller may think it's perfectly reasonable for a moving container to remain in the driveway for two days after closing.
A buyer may expect the driveway to be completely empty the moment they take ownership.
Unless those expectations are discussed, both parties may genuinely believe they're being reasonable.
And both may end up frustrated.
The same applies to cleaning, repairs, appliances, included personal property, inspection deadlines, and countless other details.
When expectations matter, put them in writing.
3. Keep People Updated, Even When There's No New Answer
This is a big one.
Sometimes we're waiting on a lender, contractor, attorney, or another party and simply don't have an answer yet.
It's tempting to wait until there's something definitive to report.
But from the client's perspective, silence can look like nothing is happening.
A simple update that says, "We're still waiting, but I've followed up and will let you know as soon as I hear something" can make a meaningful difference.
Communication doesn't always require having the answer.
Sometimes it just means making sure people know they haven't been forgotten.
Nobody Likes Surprises at the Closing Table
Buying or selling a home is already a significant financial and emotional event.
People are making major decisions, moving their families, coordinating schedules, and dealing with substantial amounts of money.
The last thing they need is a preventable surprise just before closing.
That's why I believe communication should be proactive rather than reactive.
Don't wait for the buyer to discover the problem.
Don't wait for the seller to start asking questions.
Don't assume an issue will take care of itself.
And don't leave someone wondering what's happening when a two-minute phone call could give them some clarity.
The three transactions I mentioned weren't necessarily impossible situations.
They were situations that became more stressful because important information wasn't communicated soon enough.
And that's really the point.
Sometimes the difference between a smooth closing and an incredibly stressful one isn't the size of the problem. It's when everyone finds out about it.
The earlier we communicate, the more options we usually have.
And the more options we have, the better chance we have of finding a solution that works for everyone.
That's something buyers, sellers, and real estate professionals can all benefit from remembering.
Bad news doesn't get better with age. Pick up the phone.
The situations discussed in this article are drawn from real estate transaction experiences. Identifying details have been omitted to protect the privacy of the parties involved.
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